


A Love That Kills

by Jasontodd908



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: ATTENTION, F/M, Fist Fights, Hate, Honeymoon, Jealousy, Jilted Lover, Love, Minor Violence, Murder, Romance, Rule 63, Yandere, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasontodd908/pseuds/Jasontodd908
Summary: When Batman finds the body of a close friend, he realizes that it is time to end his long standing fight with the Joker, though things are not always a straight forward as one would hope.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	A Love That Kills

**_Gotham City Wharf_ **

“I...I’m sorry. We can’t say anymore than that” commissioner Gordon says, the flashing lights of police cars adding to the overall confusion of the seen. The figure that the older man is talking too doesn’t say anything in response, and merely continues to look down at the tarp covered corpse. Slowly, the black clad figure kneels, his gloved hand moving towards the edge and grabbing a corner, pulling the covering back in one fluid motion, the blue tarp fluttering to the side.

Though his mask covers most of his face, the commissioner can see how his entire body sags at the revelation of whose body was under the tarp, though he undoubtedly had already known deep down. “Kathy Kane. We had no clue, all those years” Jim says, lighting another cigarette. He stays a respectful distance back, though he can’t look away. “Did you even know who she was?”

Batman is silent, not saying anything as he stares down at the woman, her skin pale and lifeless while her mouth was permanently fixed into a wide, unnatural smile. “You don’t have to answer. I know this is tough. I’m gonna try my best to keep this out of the papers but...well, look around” he says, gesturing towards the dock and just how many people had turned up to inspect the body of one of Gotham’s vigilantes. 

“Where’s the note?” Batman asks, his voice gruff and garbled, the rage just barely being held back. “It’s here” Gordon says, reaching into his pocket and taking out the crumpled sheet, handing it to the Batman. “We already checked it. No gas or poisons or anything like that” he says, pushing his glasses up once more as they had fallen down the ridge of his nose. “As usual, she left the note for you”.

Batman begins to read, having opened it as soon as it was in his hands. He looked over the parchment, ignoring the lipstick mark and the hearts that had been drawn over the heading.

“Batsy”, it began, the penmanship being as awful as usual. “I really hate to do this. I like hurting you in a more kinky manner, but really it had to be done. I know that our little dead friend was a woman’s vigilante, teehee, but I still didn’t like how close she got to you. I was so afraid that she’d see what I see and change her mind about the whole “swearing of men thing”. I killed her, Catwoman, Tahlia and I’ll kill Batgirl next if you don’t come tonight. I want to talk bats. Eternally yours, Ms. J”.

Batman crumples the paper in his fist, letting it drop to the ground as he stares off into the distance, his eyes focused on the waves that crash against the shore. Gordon remains silent, wanting to protest about the destruction of evidence but also knowing that now was not the time to bring something like that up to the fuming man.

“Do you know where she is?” he asks, drawing a quick, almost imperceptible nod from the caped crusader. “Well, are you going to tell me so that we can send someone to pick her up after you get her?” he asks. Unfortunately he’d taken that moment to wipe his glasses, and when he opens them again, Batman is gone, disappeared into the night as usual. A cold chill ran up the older man’s back, his mind going to how tonight felt so different from all the other nights. 

He looks back towards the body, realizing that it had been recovered once more, leaving no trace that the vigilante had been on the dock.

“Yeah, some things never change” he says, resuming his watch over the crime scene. ‘But why do I feel like everything has changed?’

**_Happy Toy Company Warehouse, Gotham City_ **

It was easy enough to enter through the skylight, the abandoned building having suffered so much damage through years of disuse and vandalism. He does it out of habit, not because he thinks that she won’t know he was there, but only habit. So much of what they’ve done is habit. 

He lets himself fall onto the catwalk, landing as gracefully and quietly as he can. The bolts wince under his weight, but it doesn’t bother him. He knows the routine.

“BATSY!” a voice shouts out over an intercom, booming throughout the whole space, bouncing off of the walls and ceiling. He squints, trying to get a fix on the origin point of the sound but he can’t, the low whining of...something coming from the darkness distracting him.

He readies himself, knowing that whatever was to happen in the next few moments wouldn’t be good. 

He sees the toy planes come soaring out of the darkness, bright blinking lights attached to small square boxes on their underside. He knows what they are, and he quickly leaps into the darkness, shielding himself with his cape as the explosions go off behind him, rendering the catwalk into nothing but a heap of twisted scrap metal. He grunts, tucking and rolling as he makes contact with the concrete floor. He comes to a stop and looks up, quickly flicking on his cowl’s night vision apparatus, trying to gauge the situation as quickly as he could.

He feels pain shoot through his head as the stadium style lights of the warehouse are flicked on, blinding him through his optics. He writhes on the floor, flicking them off as quickly as he can while trying to recover. 

Even for Batman, this is easier said than done. 

“You’re such a good boy Bats” a voice calls, though this time it is much closer and much less robotic. “When your girl calls, you come running. At least I don’t have to complain to my girlfriends about my guy pretending not to get my texts hmm?” the Joker teases, stepping out of the shadows and walking towards the still prone Batman. “Joker…” he seethes, his teeth grinding against one another as he shakily stands, already in a fighting stance.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk baby. Now?” she teases, moving forward with lightning speed and sweeping his legs out from under him. He doesn’t notice the syringe in her hand however, and while trying to reach in to grab her shoulder and bring his knee up into the woman’s stomach, she is able to skirt around him and bring the syringe down into his side. Usually, the needle would’ve broken on impact with the armor plating Bruce wore, but Joker knew him too well.    
  
She slipped it into the crack between two plates, managing to get into his skin and in a flash she injects him with whatever poison she designed for him on this particular night. He winces in pain, falling to the floor once again and panting as his strength is taken from him. “As much as I love skipping the foreplay and going right into lovemaking” she teases, reaching up to fix her tie. “We need to talk lover”.

He looks up, taking the Joker in as he struggles to get to his feet. She looked no different than she normally did. Everything was normal, from her black spats to her purple pinstriped pants and white shirt, green vest. Her smile was still the same, and her long green tresses hung over her shoulders and upper back. Her skin was a ghostly white which contrasted against her grinning red lips even more so than usual on this night.    
  
She walked around him with a practiced ease, a revolver in her hand that she idly swung about this way and that. He knew that there was a fifty fifty chance that it was just a prop, and that if she fired it a flag with the word bang would come out. 

Still, it was only a fifty fifty chance.

“Joker..I’m...I’m…” he starts, growling as he falls to his knees once more, the anger still not enough to get him to his feet. “What...did you do...to me?” he asks, watching as she comes closer and smiles down at him. “It’s just a very strong sedative love. Nothing to be concerned about” she teases, getting onto her knees before him herself, placing her hand on his cheek.

“Hi” she teases, kissing along his masked face, leaving a trail of red lipstick as she went. He pushes her off, though very feebly, and she moves right back in, knowing he didn’t have the strength to push her again. 

“I meant it. We need to talk Batty boy” she says, shuffling behind him and moving her gloved hands under his armpits, working on pulling him where she wanted him. “Ooof” she teases, huffing with every step. “What have you been eating sweetie? Too much fruit? A high sugar diet isn’t good for you you know?” she chides teasingly. Bruce is struggling to move, his fingers feeling as if they were a million miles away from him, but he hears her words perfectly. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll fix that right up. I’ve been learning how to cook recently bats! Imagine that huh?” she chuckles, pulling him another few feet. “I even bought a nice little apron for you to admire me in” she teases, leaning her mouth against his ear. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you have a snack now and again”.    
  
She finally gets his body where she wants him, and gently leans him against something. Through a slight turn of his head he sees that it’s a roller coaster cart, and with a little more effort he can see that it was affixed to a track that undoubtedly meandered through the warehouse. ‘Another roller coaster ride’ he thinks, trying to keep sharp through whatever means necessary. ‘She never changes’.

“You, you killed Batwoman” he slurs, knowing that the sedative was keeping him from moving, but not from being awake or aware. She doesn’t answer, and soon he feels his body being pushed and pulled upwards into the car. He is slumped over and pushed over to the further side of the bright carriage, a weight quickly settling in besides him.

“I did” she says, the mirth still evident in her voice. “It was fun really. She was trying so hard to be you batsy but she really wasn’t cut out for the job you know? If she was, she’d have lived when I stabbed her. Would’ve known just how to move before impact or just how to staunch the blood” Joker says, rubbing the barrel of the gun against the side of her head to scratch an itch. “I know you better than anyone, and she was certainly not you” Joker says, moving even closer, placing a hand on his chest and rubbing against the bat symbol while laying her head on his pectoral. “She didn’t smell like you, talk like you or fight like you. Yet, she was imitating you. You should be more careful about who you expand the franchise to dear” she says, laughing hysterically as she pulls the safety bar down over them and gestures for one of her unseen goons to start the ride.

The carriage jolts forward, sending them into a dark tunnel. “Not scared are you bats?” Joker asks, leaning in to rub her pointer finger against his lips. He draws them tighter, forming an almost solid straight line. The sedative seemed to be getting….stronger, and he felt control over his muscles weaken more and more until he could really only move his neck and head. 

“Because if you are” she whispers, squeezing herself against his side, “I’m here for you!”. Lights suddenly burst on, a miasma of red, blue and ghostly green. The walls of the ride were typical Joker, with large grins and repeating phrases, painted lipstick marks and bat symbols. “What are you doing?” he growls, not understanding the end point of this whole endeavor. 

“Weeeeellll...let’s just say that I have a point to make Batsy boy” she says, punctuating her response by replacing the gun in her hand with a knife, bringing the weapon upwards to tease against his chin. “Get it? Point?” she asks, descending once more into a fit of giggles. Batman says nothing, staring forward at the tracks and waiting for the inevitable twist into danger. The Joker frowns, her lips twisting downward in a pouting gesture. “You know, would it KILL YOU” she shouts suddenly, delivering a swift punch to his temple, the man groaning in pain from the contact with the woman’s glove covered fist. “TO LAUGH WITH ME ONCE IN A WHILE?!” she finishes, standing up in the carriage and practically screaming into his face.

Bruce is nonplussed, and the look of loathing she can sense is in his eyes through the cowl calms her down, her eyes closing while she sighs, looking back up and smiling as she settles back into her seat. “You know, you can really tell how much you love a person by how angry they get you, to the point of wanting to rip their heart out, but you know you’ll never do it, because you’d miss them so much” she teases, rubbing the spot where she had punched him. “Being in love is a lot like telling someone to go to hell, but wanting to make sure they get there safely” she starts.

“Doesn’t that describe us baby?” she teases, kissing his unyielding lips, staying close to let her their breath crash against the other. “I fight you, and do all those naughty things to get your attention, hoping you’ll give me a spank, and you chase me because I’m the only one who makes you feel alive. We’re a match made in...well, I won’t say heaven as we both know we could only come from the sick and messed up mind of the horned guy below us” she says, teasingly placing her fingers up on either side of her temple to simulate horns. 

She laughs, dropping her hands and taking his in her own, her rubbing going unfelt due to the strong sedative running through his body. “What I’m saying is, that you complete me, and without me? Well, it’s clear what happens when I’m not around to get you to smile” she teases, the coaster opening up into a large free space in the middle of the warehouse. “I wanted to do a powerpoint, but I’m not a normal kind of girl, and you know I always go all out for you, even when you forget to call or send a card on my birthday” she says, jokingly pouting as they step in front of what can only be called an exhibit.

“What is this?” he asks, trying to fix his eyes on whatever the woman was trying to show him. “You don’t remember?” she asks, a slight quiver to her voice that he could misconstrue as genuine if he didn’t mistrust her to such an extent. “It’s our first date you silly!” she says, standing up and pointing towards the exhibit, light flickering on to showcase just how detailed she had gone for her little exhibition. The backdrop was of the Ace chemical factory, the place where had had first encountered the clown themed woman. She had been holding a little girl hostage, one of the workers children, and he had managed to get there in time, preventing Joker from throwing her into a vat of acid.

There were three mannequins in the display, one of which was obviously there to represent the little girl, cowering fear behind the female mannequin while the male lunged towards it. Both were wearing tattered and cheap reproductions of their clothes, the cowl on the Batman being sewn together in the middle. “You were so handsome. I was in awe of you Batsy. Your body, your stance and the way you threw yourself at me. True, it was only to save another woman, but I’m a forgiving type”.

“You tried to kill a little girl” he says through gritted teeth.

“Pfffttt...not at all. I mean, maybe not? I’m really not sure” she says, curling up into the side of his chest, rubbing the bat symbol idly. “It was a fifty fifty thing to be honest. I took a tumble and an acid bath, and you don’t see me pushing up daisies!” she says triumphantly. “But ever since that night, it’s been you….Bruce” she says, a smile coming to her face as he looks on, shocked that she knew who he really was.

“How do you know?” he asks, struggling to get up but being halted by the steel bar and the long lasting sedative. “Tahlia told me Bruce. She told me everything” Joker teases, kissing along his chin. “First it was to taunt me you know? About how you were in bed and the things you’d do for her. I’ll be the first to admit that I went a little looney when she started talking like that” she chuckles. “It was one hell of a cat fight Bruce! You should’ve seen it. I was lucky, but missus J always has a few tricks up her sleeve” she says, punctuating her words by pulling a card from her literal sleeve. 

As always, it was a joker card. 

“After cutting her up some, and some liberal application of gas, she told me other things. Like your name. It doesn’t matter to me by the way” she says, practically moving into his lap and pressing her rear end against his groin. “You see, I know you” she says, tapping the card against his head before throwing it away, leaving the white paper to flutter away into the darkness.

“I know that Bruce is just your day job, but this? This is who you are. Ever since dear old mommy and daddy were gunned down in that alley, this has been who you are”.

He seethes, the flippant mentioning of his parents always serving to enrage him. He is just barely able to remain silent, the urge to commit unspeakable violence upon the woman in front of him growing with each passing second.

“She also mentioned the little bastard you had with her” she says, waving her hand in casual dismissal. “Damian. What a name. I know you didn’t have a hand in naming him did you?” she asks, receiving only a baleful glare in response. “Nah. You wouldn’t. You would’ve named him Thomas or maybe Alfred after the old geezer that raised you. No, that was all Tahlia wasn’t it? She’s dead though. No Lazarus pit is going to bring her back either. Obliterated, destroyed. Atomized” she says, gesturing for the cart to roll forward once more.

“I don’t mind being a step mother though. Making sure little Damian eats his veggies and goes to bed at a normal hour”.

“I’ll kill you” he says, fully meaning it in that moment. ‘Tahlia is dead’ he thinks, reiterating that fact within his mind. He felt numb. His relationship with his son’s mother hadn’t been the best, though in his own way he had loved her. ‘She’s dead...if Joker is telling the truth’ he adds. He dismisses the thought instantly. 

Of all the things the Joker was, he could honestly say that she wasn’t a liar.

“Next stop, family land!” she teases, cackling as the coaster picks up speed, careening along the tracks before coming to a stop at yet another display. It lights up quickly, and he sees that it’s some sort of rooftop, with many more figures than previously. His representative was in the middle, its arm clasped around a Catwoman esque figure, their faces pressed close together as the others, Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Batwoman and the Red Hood, stood around. There was one more figure, dressed as the Joker, peeping around the corner, a hateful glare painted on the face, directed at the kissing couple. 

“Bleh. Selina Kyle. I always hated her. I really did. Even before she started putting her claws all over you” Joker says, drawing her pistol and shooting the figure dressed as Catwoman. “You think you’re so perfect with you unblemished skin and teasing lips? Huh?!” she shouts as if addressing the real Selina kyle. The figure falls over, taking quite a few others with it as it tumbles, though Joker continues to scream. It’s at this point that Bruce begins to feel his fingers again. ‘It’s wearing off’ he thinks triumphantly, waiting for his time to strike. 

Joker breaths deeply, moving her palms down her vest and straightening it out, smiling down at the still stuck Batman. “Sorry dear. I’m not shy in admitting that I’m a little jealous. I don’t exactly have the curvature to be a bombshell you know?” she says with a laugh, sitting down once more. “But I do have something else” she whispers conspiratorially. “I’m crazy about you. So crazy, that I looked closer and saw your life for what it was Bruce. You surround yourself with people because you’re scared. You’re scared of being alone” she says, trying to break him down to his bare essentials.

“But you don’t have to be alone Bruce” she says, swinging open the steel bare and straddling his waist, her arms laying on his shoulders. “I’m here, and I always have been. Before any of the others it was just you and me. Two forces of nature destined to fight forever! Locked in an eternal struggle of good versus evil. But them? They changed you. Made you soft” she says with a frown. “And Catwoman? Really? She was never any good for you Bruce. She’d steal something, make you chase her, and kiss you on a rooftop. Where was the commitment? Where was the pizazz?” she asks dramatically.

“No. She never cared about you. She just wanted you to do all the work while she sat and pouted with those kiss me lips and fuck me eyes” she says, her own eyes taking on the hardness of stone. “Me? I sat up at night in nothing but my panties thinking of ways to amuse you. Death traps for you to escape and plots for you to foil, knowing that you would win, every. Single. Time” she says. “Who else has that kind of dedication? That kind of love for you? I was giddy whenever they applauded you as the hero you are. The papers, the people and the news. How they’d gush over you” she says, a smile adorning her face as she works at getting his cowl off.

“I wouldn’t need to save anyone if you didn’t put them in danger” he accuses, his mind going back to Batwoman’s destroyed corpse. “And if I did that how would you ever notice me? Would I send flowers or text you something naughty? No. No, I want our love to be real Bruce...dammit how do you get this thing off?!” she asks, her fingers moving away as she huffs at him. 

“I wouldn’t. And that’s the point. Our love is nothing. None of this is real. It’s all just your sick delusions” he says, trying to hurt her with his words. It works, and he can see her face scrunch up as she draws her hand back, slapping him harshly enough to cause his head to jerk to the side.

“That’s for not getting me a puppy for our anniversary” she says, hiding her own uncertainty and anger under a facade of humor. “Anywho, Selina is dead too. Yeah. Apparently cats don’t like woodchippers. Who would’ve thought?” she asks with a smile and a shrug, Bruce struggling even more as his anger grows within him. “You bitch” he snarls, his mind snapping to the last time he’d seen Selina.

“Hey!” Joker shouts. “You may call me crazy, psychotic, evil and...I forgot my point” she says, beginning to chuckle and shake from mirth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just remembering how she screamed in terror when I pushed her down the chute!” she says, holding her stomach as she begins to laugh even harder. 

She stops after a moment and wipes a nonexistent tear from her eye. “Anywho. Long story short, they make you weak, and I make you strong. After all, what’s a wife’s job?”

“I despise you and everything you are. The last thing I think of you as, is my wife” he says, his voice promising violence on a scale that he’d only ever dreamed of before when it came to her. She smiles and shakes her head, pulling one of her gloves off to showcase a nasty scar she had from when he had thrown a batarang into it, preventing her from pressing some button or other on some long forgotten death trap. “But that’s exactly what I am Bruce, don’t you see?” she asks, pointing the scar out to him. “From our first date on, I was yours, and you mine. Fixated on each other, forever circling the drain of this fucked up beyond salvation world. But always together” she says, kissing his lips once more.

“When you threw that batarang at me, I kept it” she says, pulling the old and slightly rusted metal object from one of her pockets. “It was your wedding ring and your proposal, and you didn’t even need to ask me Bruce, because I do. From the first moment together, I was yours” she teases, snapping her fingers and having the cart move forward towards what he hoped was her last exhibit. 

The cart stops and a light turns on instantly, showcasing a kitchen scene this time. A batman figure sat at one end of the table, wearing his cowl but a suit and tie otherwise, sipping from an empty cup of coffee. Off to the side, rubbing his shoulders while holding a baby, was the Joker, a wide smile on her face as the child coos against her. 

“This is what we both want Bruce” she whispers fiercely. “Admit it. We’d be the perfect family” she says, her voice taking on an almost pleading tone. “Our babies would never be alone. Not like either of us. They’d be loved and cared for by two parents who know, who KNOW” she reiterates, holding his face on either side, “how evil the world is. And they would change it Brucey!” she says excitedly.

“They’d want to change it, like you. They’d have the drive and the compassion, while being just as crazy as me. Crazy enough to make it work and stop at nothing to do it” she says, nuzzling against him. “I’d make you so happy Batsy. A happy little homemaker, a smile always on her face. I’d even attack you with a knife now and again just to keep you up to par!” she teases, moving back and kissing his lips passionately, demanding every fibre of his being with her motion.

She receives nothing in return, and though it was the same as the hundreds of times before, something about this time stung. “Why don’t you see?” she asks evenly. “I’ve eliminated all my competition. Proven that I’m your only equal in this godforsaken city. WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO DO?!” she cries, tears moving down her cheeks freely. “I know, I get it. The skin, and the hair. It’s all a turn off isn’t it?” she asks, not seeing how Batman was slowly working his hand towards his utility belt. “I can change that!” she pleads. “Nothing a little makeup and hair die won’t fix. I forget what my natural hair color is, been so long since I took that acid bleach, heehee, but, but, I can do whatever you want. Tell me Bats, are you a blonde type a guy? I mean, it’s always dark haired ladies at night, but blonde bimbos during the day so it’s hard to pin you down” she asks needily, a wide smile plastered across her face. 

Without another word he thrusts his fist upward, a brass knuckle placed around his fingers as he impacts against her side, taking the breath completely out of her. He throws her off, sending her careening over the edge of the car, her back resting against concrete. 

She is on her hands and kneels, wheezing as Batman stands up over the side, glaring down at her while trying to maintain his balance. He wasn’t quite where he was normally, though it wouldn’t be long. She looks up at him, the tears running even freer as she spits out some blood, her face having hit against the concrete. The smile gives now is even redder due to the spatter. “You...you really hurt me on that one, teehee...kinky” she says, getting to her feet, her hand holding her side. 

“I know you might need a little time to let it come to you” she says over her shoulder, walking away into the darkness. “I mean, I wasn’t as tactful as I should’ve been when telling you about wanting to start a family” she adds, her voice being farther off as Batman follows, trying to maintain an even gait. “A girl shouldn’t drop that on a guy like that. Would’ve only been worse if I shouted “breed me” during sex like a farm animal wouldn’t it?” she asks, her laughter light and tinkling as Batman follows down a side tunnel. He sees a shaft of light peaking out from under a door, a door which remained half opened.

He didn’t need to see her to know she had already went in there.    
  
He rushes through, his mind fixated on all of the death that had been dealt, and the death that had been promised for the future. He had to end this. Tonight.

He slams through the door, momentarily blinded by the light before coming to his senses and scanning the room. He didn’t have much time however, as something metallic crashes against his skull, forcing his eyes to see stars. Joker had hidden behind the door, a metal serving tray in her hands as she waited for the Dark Knight.

“Welcome to our Honeymoon suite” she teases, slamming the door with her foot before advancing on the prone man and delivering a barrage of kicks into his side. “I WENT THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE TO PUT THIS TOGETHER FOR US!!!” she screams, leaning down to punch him directly in the face.

“I got a heart shaped bed, candles, chocolate. I even had a painting of us done to set the mood!” she says, straddling his back and jerking his head upwards by holding onto his cowl’s ears. “You see! That’s you and I, tastefully nude, making love on a bed! I had it painted in Greco-Roman style. Do you realize how much I had to threaten the artist?!” she asks, punching once more. 

Bruce is able to look at the room for a second, a reprieve from the onslaught of punches and kicks being just what he needed. Indeed, candles were placed all about the room, with trays of wines and chocolates all about. The silver serving tray, which now laid dented and broken against the wall, undoubtedly held a portion of their meal, roasted pheasant with a mixture of vegetables. “Don’t even get me started on how hard it was for me to cook a pheasant myself!” she shouts again, the tears streaming down her face. 

She looks back at the picture, stopping her furious assault for a moment to admire it. “Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks, causing him to look closer at it while rising to his feet, trying to regain his breath. They indeed were both nude, Batman wearing nothing but his cowl while he was atop a smiling Joker, whose head was leaned back, her neck exposed and her breasts pressed against him. It was indeed painted like a renaissance piece, with greek columns in the background. “I was going to put it on our bedroom wall. Or maybe not. I wouldn’t want one of our babies to see it when they come into our room to cuddle after having a nightmare” she continues, blocking out the fight between them for a minute.

“Hmm, maybe in a nice quiet room on the western side of the manner? We can sneak off and recreate the scene in real life as much as you’d like. Alfred will watch the kids and…” she says, ducking as Batman throws a punch, barely missing her. She turns and kneels, rolling forward before landing a punch on his thigh. “Dammit! Any other guy I would’ve nailed right into the jewels. Don’t you see how special you are?” she asks, rising to catch his fist right on her cheek, a small gash opening on her ghostly white skin.

She pulls her knife, thrusting it into his arm, wedging between his armor and drawing a hiss of pain from the man while he pulls it out and throws it across the room. “YOU IDIOT!” she screams, jumping on him and grasping him by the neck, her nails digging in anywhere she can get to while she wraps her legs about his waist, clinging onto him.    
  
“We could be making love right now! You’re always wasting time on fighting me when you really wanna fuck me” she continues to screech, her weight slowly pushing the man back. “You’re a delusional maniac” he shouts back, grasping her about the waist and pulling her off of him. “Everything you think is just a goddamn delusion! You’re nothing to me but another murderer, and I’m sick of this game!” he screams, frightening the woman and causing her eyes to widen as he throws her as hard as he can against the wall.

She goes sailing through the air, impacting slightly off to the left and crashing through a window, the shards cutting into her flesh as she tumbles and rolls in the dirt. Batman is quick to follow, jumping through the window and rushing towards the woman’s prone body. He stands over her, his silhouette standing perfectly against the moon. “It’s over Joker. All of it” he says, a tone of finality overtaking his words.

Joker smiles and reaches behind her, her eyes fixated as always on the man above her. “Not exactly Batsy my love!”

She draws the pistol, her pointer instantly inside of the trigger guard. There isn’t any time for the vigilante to react, and his only hope lies in the fact that his armor was still mostly intact. Joker pulls the trigger, a bang emanating around the area, but given away for what it really is by the confetti swirling about in the air and the large flag that is fluttering in the breeze, a large “BANG” emblazoned across its stitching.

“Ohh god dammit” she says, throwing the fake pistol away and watching it skitter across the ground. She frowns, laying on her side, her palms pressed against the mud while her body twisted at her waist. She looks up and smiles at the object of her love, a smile that was now missing a tooth. “That was another present for you. One final joke. After we made love I was going to jokingly shoot you, only for that to happen. I was going to make a sexual innuendo or joke but…..I don’t remember what it was now. You killed the mood dear” she says sadly, the smile dropping from her face as she looks back down at the now wet soil. 

“And it’s started to rain. Typical” she adds.

Batman is silent, continuing to look down on the woman with something unreadable in his eyes. “I don’t know what made you the way you are. Whatever horrible event put you on this path and twisted you up inside” he says, moving closer, his hand extending to offer her assistance in getting up. “But I want to help you. We don’t have to end up killing each other, because that’s where we’re going. I don’t believe it’s too late”.

Her eyes quickly go to his hand, studying it with a light smile on her face. “Does this mean I’ve finally won you over? You’ll be my lawfully wedded husband, till death do us part?” she asks, a hopeful though non believing tone in her voice.

Bruce remains silent, not taking any action other than to offer her a way out. “No. It means that I’ll help you be better than what you are” he says, no doubt referring to psychiatric treatment and yet another attempt at “curing” her. She knows that what she wants isn’t being offered, and she now realizes that it probably never will be.

She pushes his hand away, getting up on her own and brushing the dirt off of her knees though the rest of her outfit was destroyed beyond redemption. “I’m sorry but...no. No it’s too late for that Bruce” she says, looking over her shoulder at the man before turning, brushing a stray strand of green hair over her ear. “I..I want all of you. And I want it to myself. It figures that the only man I’ve ever wanted, the only man who’s ever been there for me, time and time again, is dedicated to being an ideal” she says, laughing quietly to herself.

“It..it...actually reminds me of a joke” she says, turning to the stoic man with a smile. “You see, there was this woman, who worked at a soup kitchen. She complained to her mother that all the men she found herself attracted to were married. So one day, one day, she meets a nice single guy at the soup kitchen, and she really hits it off with him! So she goes and tells her mother, and her mother is over the moon for the girl, so she tells her to ask him what he does for a living. And she does, she’s so excited she rushes off to work the next day to ask him. And she asks him and he says, “I’m a priest”

Joker is quiet for a moment before she begins to chuckle, her shoulders shaking before the laughter deepens, becoming a full body chuckle. “I...I’m sorry...it’s just so funny” she says in between breaths, not watching the man anymore until she hears something from him. Batman begins to smile before chuckling himself, his own shoulders shaking as he moves closer to the woman. Her heart beats faster and faster, though she can’t stop laughing. His hands go to the sides of her face, his thumb lightly brushing against her lips.

Their faces are so close once again, closer than he’d ever gotten to her of his own volition. She can’t help herself as the tears join the rain drops in their passage across her face, the two of them laughing like maniacs at the joke she had told. His hands begin to move lower and lower, her laughter increasing as her own hands find their purchase on his midsection, crushing her body to his.    
  
Batman’s gloved hands land on her neck, suddenly giving her concern as the pressure increases. Her laughter dies away until ceasing completely, being replaced by her struggled gasps for breath as she beats lightly at the man she loves. He continues to laugh, his face twisted up into an expression of utter mirth, and despite her impending death she loves him all the more for it. In fact, she feels downright accomplished.

He’d finally smiled for her.


End file.
